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BLING. [24 Oct 2004|11:49am]
[ mood | happy ]

So I'm not going to get in details, but I woke up happy this morning... for the first time in a while. Not to say I haven't had days where I've been happy, because I totally have, but I don't think I have woken up with a smile on my face in a long time. I was waiting all week for last night to come and it came, it went better than expected... only because I'm a real shy dude around people I don't know really well, but I felt more comfortable around Melissa than I have around MOST people I hang out with for the first time. We watched Bruce Almighty, which is such a rad movie. I played her guitar, and I really wanted to sing for her, but I smoked too much weed and it would have just SUCKED if I sang. So I owe her a song. I'm happy though, she's an awesome chick and she's absolutely gorgeousssss (yes, with five S's) I don't know where it's going to go from here, but I'm guessing it can only get better from here.


1 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

So...this is how it is [14 Aug 2004|12:53pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Girls fucking suck. Not just one in particular, but all of you. You say guys are the problem and I bet 80% of the time they are, but you like to hide alot of things, you don't want to be straight forward with ANYTHING when all you have to do is be HONEST. Some guys don't like honesty, well they suck... Honesty is the key to everything and sometimes I just wish people told me how they actually felt instead of creating a silent barrier which only makes things worse and harder to deal with because it sits on your fucking mind like a fishhook digging into your skull.

Is it really that hard to believe I've never had a girlfriend? Maybe I should just be like all the other scumbags guys out there and treat girls like shit...but I'm better than that. It's just too bad most of you aren't.

3 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

Dude...Sweet... [13 Mar 2004|09:26am]
[ mood | high ]

I didn't even look at my last entry. So I have no idea where I left off, but I don't give a shit. I just got a new computer, this thing is badass I tell you. It's quiet and it works, which is the most important thing. Then last night my income tax clears, I want to buy alot of shit. But I'm going to try to go as crazy as I can while being conservative with this money. It's the only money I have till I start working within the next month, so I need to be light with it. Fuck it though, I'ma buy me a lil' somethin' somethin'. BREAK ME OFF A PIECE!

1 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

What About CRAP [26 Jan 2004|03:58pm]
I don't even know where to fucking start. My whole life is going into the shitter, unfortunately I have too much willpower to let it slide that easy. So I'll start in New Jersey on Jon D's 21st birthday. Overall, it was a fan party. Partied with all the regulars, plus Brian and Chris White (what what) there was a few bands that played. I ended up breaking my precious guitar in half when I decided to slam it into the ground and a wall or two. I was hammered, what do you want? I'm not even that mad about that. It was it's time, that's what I say.

So Sunday, I come back almost getting into a baker's dozen worth of accidents. FUN SHIT. Get back to Connecticut and I couldn't wait for Wednesday to come. It was going to be the one thing that made me happy and make me forget about my broken guitar, my debt issue, all my problems. But unfortunately, that day I was looking forward to never came. Accordingly, I received some pretty decent comments after getting the boot, but honestly...I really wish things turned out differently. I think ..no, I KNOW it would have worked out better. We'll see...that's all I have to say.

My computer is currently getting a make-over, I guess my motherboard blew up so I don't have SHIT. I'm at my mother's house on the other side of the state typing in my fucking live journal like the loser that I am.

There's a few more things that slam the nail in the coffin, but I don't feel like discussing those things in here. There's just some things I don't think I should let everyone see.

I really wish Wednesday came.
2 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

HAPPY! [13 Jan 2004|01:19am]
[ mood | happy ]

Tonight was so awesome. Any problems I was worrying and complaining about before don't matter to me right now.

sometimes i pretend you're still here

Woo. [11 Jan 2004|11:45am]
So I think Monday is still on for! yayyyyyy that makes me so happy.

1 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

Just everything. [11 Jan 2004|01:27am]
[ mood | crappy ]

You notice just when you have all your little problems of yesterday zipped up in a bag, new ones seem to pop out? Just when I thought I had a little control of things, everything just gets gay again. I don't even know if I have plans anymore for Monday...it wouldn't surprise me, I've been let down so many times. Blah...whatever.

And now my computer decides to act up again, I had to restore it to an old setting. Who knows how long this thing will act normal before it goes nuts again? Grr, I hate this shit. I need to find a job. I want to collect my unemployment money so I can pay off a few things and people. And most of all, I want there to be plans for Monday.

Do I seroiusly ask for this shit? I DON'T WEAR SPANDEX. I'M A NICE GUY.

1 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

Part II [05 Jan 2004|10:36am]
[ mood | blah ]

Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah...after spending a day recovering, I went to Amanda's house the next night with Liz, Jay, Pez. Jon D eventually showed up and so did my cousin Chris. I had about 6 beers, basically just chilled out. Talked about how good munster cheese is with Amanda haha next day rolls in, it was my last day. I'm going to fast forward to about 8:30, that's when the day really started ...so I head to Getty to full up my tank before I leave, I didn't want to do it too late, because who knew when they closed and in New Jersey it's illegal to pump your own gas. So when we came back, 3 kids about 16 years old, two walking and one a bike were going right by me, Jay and Pez as we got out of the car. We gave them a look and they started mumbling some shit, now I thought Jay or Pez would step up and make these kids look like bitches, but they kept quiet. I on the other hand, can't stand little kids who think they are thugs when they are little pussies. So I got out in the middle of street, told them I'd beat the shit out of all of them then told them after I'd kick their ass I would make them get on their knees and suck my dick hahaha I started unbuckling my pants and shit, but then Pez was like "Dude, Jilliah's parents are home." so I quickly refrained from yelling "COME HERE AND SUCK MY DICK" after about doing it 6 or 7 times. Later on, we headed over to good ol' Jonny Den's house, he already housed 4 beers when I got there. About 10 minutes later, I asked for a mic and we jammed out. SUCH a bad idea in my behalf on screaming, I ripped my vocal chords a new asshole since I haven't screamed in almost THREE MONTHS, I couldn't even talk that night. No more screaming for me. Not for a long time. So after we stop playing, Jon decides to keep taking shot after shot of whiskey. He was all happy-drunk though...at least when I left. So we head back to the house, have a few bowls of cereal and around 1:30 me and Jilliah see Pez walking, but no Jon D. The reason Pez was looking after him in the first place is because Jilliah didn't want Jon walking in her house bombed out of his mind, so after Jon chugged the rest of the whiskey he pissed all over his drumset, spit on Don, tried to fight him, threw his drums all over the place. Pez took him to the beach, that's when Jon started to get really nuts. He fuckin' hit Pez and ripped his hoodie, I'll tell you one thing man....Pez is a fucking good friend to not only stop himself from kicking Jon's ass, but staying with him the entire time. So now we ask Pez where Jon was and he told us he was passed out at the corner of the street. We go over there to carry him back and we try to get him to sleep downstairs, but he struggled his ass off. Motherfucker even tried to fight ME, of all people, but it's okay Jonny Den, I love you man and you were wicked drunk, you don't remember any of that. JUST DON'T GET THAT BOMBED AGAIN DUDE!

At about 2:30 is when I made my way home. Despite a detour and getting a little sidetracked, I made it back in 2 1/2 hours and then I passed THE FUCK OUT. Hope you enjoy my story.

HOPEFULLY, I will make it up to New Jersey for Jon D's birthday.

1 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

New Jersey and The Apocalypse [04 Jan 2004|03:45pm]
[ mood | tired ]

So, I roll up to my family's house around 9:30 on Friday night. About a 2 hour drive, I made sick time. Alot of the WAF crew was outside, hanging out. Neils (Nick), Paul, Jay, Liz ..Sam wasn't, but I think he was on vacation. I got to hear new What About Frank with their new singer Mark, this guy is FUCKING AMAZZZZZZZZZZZZZING. He sounds like Cedric from The Mars Volta, I loved it. Even though I do miss Gus, I think this is for the better.

I saw Jay (Yes, Blackout Jay) with a beer in his hand and that was really weird, he quit drinking for the longest time because he's a MESS when he is drunk, but that was the only time I saw him with a beer the entire week. I saw Pez, he now lives next door and he's the fucking man. He made me laugh so hard the whole time I was there. Sunday we went to see Engineer and ED GEIN, both bands fucking owned. The singer of Engineer really wreaked though, like cat-piss, but it was all fun. We got back smoked so MUCH pot, I don't think I have been this stoned in a while.

So here comes New Year's, me, Jon D, Tone, Mikey Moon, Jilliah and Dizzy Don. We go to this party out in Keyport, it was fucking awesome. People thought I was Johnny Knoxville. I drank about 15 beers. Smoked some pot. Drank some mixed thing from hell that had peanut m & m's in it.

I forgot how long I was in NJ. I will post the second half later sometime. Or something. Wooooooo api;ghagp8iaehgapgihaegpiaehgaepighaegae



sometimes i pretend you're still here

All is well. [25 Dec 2003|06:25pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

Finally. It's been a mess as far as personal situations go with my life for the last 3 months, but everything is seeming to slowly come back to normal, which is awesome. I went to Dead Letter Promise's first show on Tuesday night, I wasn't sure if they were still playing, but Andy said they were so I went. I not only went because I was actually in the band for a little bit, but because even after all was said and done as me being the singer, I was still cool with each of those guys. They're all awesome guys, we just have different views as far as what goes first in life right now. My priorities are slighty more realistic, not to say what they're doing will never get them anywhere, but they just want to focus on this thing and that's dope, but I can't afford it physically, mentally or finacially ..so I wish those dudes the best of luck.

I saw Andrew there though, I saw him walking here and there, but I wasn't sure what to say. So I see him standing behind me and I turn around and just give him a little brotherly hug and go "Happy holidays bro" and we just talked from there, it went good, I told him I missed chatting with him and I really do. I saw Catrina too, she looked so cute, I haven't seen her in forever so that was cool. After DLP I left for class, but THERE WAS NO FUCKING CLASS. And nobody informed me, so I went for nothing. Went back to the show, enjoyed the rest of the bands. I'll miss the dudes in Doozer, all awesome people.

So let's fast forward to X-mas eve...went to my mom's house and watched a movie and ate some stuffed shrimp, my mother made some goooooooooooood stuffing, I love her. It was good to see her for the holidays since she is working today (on Christmas!) and her birthday is in a couple of days. I get back to Hamden around 11, hang around for a little and then I go on a serious blunt ride ...and I turn down this road which we call the "smoke roads" for obvious reasons and a jeep rolls up behind us, shuts their lights off and is on MY ASS. So I stop and let them pull up next to us and IT'S DAN FEE AND KAIT!!! I haven't seen either of those people in FOREVER, especially Dan Fee...I love that fuckin' dude. It was cool seeing them on Christmas (well, 12 AM haha) so that leads us today... We had X-mas here, had lots of food, I got money WHICH I NEED.

And tomorrow I leave for New Jersey. Alone. Maybe I'll post a lil' somethin'-somethin' before I leave.


4 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

Thinking about alot of shit. [16 Dec 2003|11:31am]
[ mood | confused ]

Yeah, I think...I know, it's hard to believe, but I was just thinking about just everything. Some subjects a little more crazier than others. One of the things I've been thinking about alot lately is if I call Andrew, what would I say to him? Honestly...I haven't talked to him in almost 2 months. I used to talk to him at LEAST once a day and now it's just like BAM, there goes one of my best friends. Some people tell me to move on. Some people tell me to apologize. Either way, I tell them the same thing. When I figure out what I'm doing then I'll do it. I'm not going to apologize, but I'm not going to just say fuck him either. I don't think I could do that. I say I could, hell yeah...but it's way easier to say something like that then do it. This goes for Chris too. Haven't talked to him since that night either. I don't want to just stop being friends with two dudes who I've been friends with FOREVER. I still don't know what I'm going to do, but ...I think I'm going to make my decision soon. I just hope it's the right one.

sometimes i pretend you're still here

Hair, Snow, and Guitar Strings [14 Dec 2003|04:30pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Yeah, you read right you silly bastards! This snow sucks. It's a pain to drive in. It's a mess to walk in and I don't even think I'm going to drive to Sam Ash today because of the snow, even though I am in desperate need of HYBRID SLINKEYS! all I have is a .9 and a .11 and I need a .36 righasgpahgguiahgauoghagoaughaguoehgeaug yeah, so that's all I have to say about that. As far as my hair situation for now? It's quite simple, I'm a broke ass nigga and I can't afford a haircut, so I'm going to let this thing grow and see what happens! For now anyway...I need a damn job. Someone find me a job!

Hm, maybe I should've switched the name of this entry from "Hair, Snow, and Guitar Strings" to "See how much I can whine in a paragraph."

Later peoples. I shall return.

2 forgot you're gone | sometimes i pretend you're still here

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